


i don't want to be your friend, i want to kiss your lips

by captainegg



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay Sex, Getting Together, M/M, Marauders, Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Porn with Feelings, Smut, modern!AU, safe sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:14:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25148272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainegg/pseuds/captainegg
Summary: Remus tried to find the right words. He had played this out in his head a thousand times, had imagined how it would be to finally admit his feelings, to tell Sirius. But now, all the words were gone, his thoughts filled with nothing but Sirius.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 127





	i don't want to be your friend, i want to kiss your lips

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! :)
> 
> Finally finished this one. I got caught up in writing for two Fests but decided to get this one out of my drafts first.
> 
> Totally inspired by “i wanna be your girlfriend” by girl in red, even though neither Remus nor Sirius listen to girl in red, wink wonk.
> 
> Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Not beta'd.

It was their night out.  Ever since they graduated high school and life started to pull them into different directions, they had decided to go out together at least once a week.

Remus had found himself at a bar this particular Saturday night.  He, Peter and James stood at the side of the dance floor, beer in hand, and watched their other two friends, Lily and Sirius, dance.

Remus nipped on his beer, his eyes glued to his friend Sirius. It had taken him a while to understand and accept his feeling but he had been crushing on him for a few years now. Back in high school he usually had denied his feelings. Blamed them on hormones and Sirius being needy for attention. But it turned out that Remus really liked guys. Well, liked Sirius. So far he had been the first and only guy Remus had ever fancied.

Sirius wore ripped black skinny jeans like he usually did. Remus couldn’t help but admire how stupidly perfect his arse looked in them. On top, he wore an old red band shirt that was way too baggy for his slender yet muscular frame. Black ink peeked out from the rolled-up sleeves, bleeding down his arms down to his knuckles.

It all started back in junior year when Sirius suggested that they would get a friendship tattoo. Since they were all young and stupid, Sirius tattooed them with a needle and some black ink he had flying around.  Probably not their best idea but it was a memory Remus held onto fondly. After that, Sirius started to collect tattoos like Remus collected books. And Remus had to admit to himself how much he liked Sirius with tattoos. Another reason on his list while he was absolute and from head to toe in love with Sirius Orion Black.

James nudged him with his elbow. “Moony, you okay?” His voice was barely understandable over the music. Remus took a sip of his beer before nodding absently. He was too busy watching Sirius dance to notice that Peter and James exchange quick glances.

A few minutes passed.  They watched the mob of sweaty dancers swing back and forth to the sound of 80s rock, rubbing against one another, snogging. So much snogging.

It wasn’t like Remus didn’t like to be subjected to any kind of PDA but rather the lack of being part of it.

James beside him had joined Lily for a dance and Peter was God knows where.

Remus finished his beer and decided that he needed to take a break. He squeezed himself past sweaty dancers, snogging couples and giggling groups of girls.

The cold air of a mid-October night hit his face as soon as he had stepped out of the club. Remus stood awkwardly between chattering smokers, wishing that Sirius was here with him. Or even Peter. Someone he could at least talk to.

A few minutes later, Remus started to get cold so he headed back inside. The heat of the room made his head spin and it took him a second to get used to thick air and the loud rock music. He spotted Sirius in the crowd, dancing mindlessly with a confident grin.

Remus wasn’t sure why he did what he did next.  Maybe it was because he had too much to drink or maybe it was the way others stared at Sirius. Years of longing and jealousy finally took over.

To his surprise, Sirius had spotted Remus in the crowd and met him halfway. “Where were you? I’ve been looking for you,” Sirius yelled, hooking his fingers into the loops of Remus’ jeans and pulling him closer.

He wanted to answer but Sirius had already started dancing again. His long fingers still rested on Remus’ hips. Remus skin beneath burst into flames.

Awkwardly, Remus tried to match his movements to Sirius’. Somehow, thanks to some kind of miracle, their bodies soon moved in harmony. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck. Remus placed his hands on Sirius’ hip,  comfortably sitting above his hip bones. The soft fabric of his shirt brushed against his hand, sending shivers down his spine.

Remus could feel his heartbeat fast and heavy inside his chest.  He had his eyes fixed on his friend’s face and took in every oh so little expression - the soft curl of Sirius’ lips whenever their bodies met, the dark specks in his storm grey eyes, the flutter of his eyelashes.

Sirius Black was breathtakingly beautiful.

The music switched to a slower song because of course it fucking did. Remus debated whether he should pull Sirius closer to go back to drinking. Sirius pressed his hot body closer against Remus’ own.  His hands found their way into his short hair, burying themselves there without any intention of ever leaving. And if he was honest, Remus never wanted them to leave ever again. Every inch of his body that Sirius touche tingled, sending very clear signals to his brain and down to his groin.

“You look so good today,” Remus slurred into Sirius’ ear, giving in to his want and nuzzling his nose into black hair.

Sirius smelled like sweat, cigarettes, and motor oil. His hands trailed over Sirius’s lower back, his hands finally resting on his friend’s arse. In his mind, Remus told himself to stop, to pull away. They were friends after all and friends didn’t dance like this. They shouldn’t be doing this. But Remus couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want to stop. He wanted more, so much more.

Remus could feel Sirius’ soft lips on his skin, the way they nibbled and sucked on his neck, his wet tongue darting out and licking drops of sweat off of him. Remus answered that by squeezing Sirius’ arse and growling into his ear.

There was another change in the music that snapped Remus back to reality - the thickness of the hot air around them, the distinct smell of alcohol and smoke filling his lungs. It all felt unreal.

It took Remus a moment until he had enough courage to gently but firmly push Sirius away from him. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” Remus said loud enough for Sirius to hear. At least judging by the emotions that hushed over Sirius’ stupidly perfect face. There was a short moment of surprise, then confusion and sadness. Remus blinked and it was gone again. “We are friends, Sirius. We shouldn’t,” he gestured back and forth between them, ”be doing this.”

The way Sirius looked at him broke his heart. “I care about you so much, Sirius, you don’t even know. But I don’t want to risk it. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

Sirius stepped forward, fingers tugging at the fabric of Remus’ shirt in an attempt to pull him closer once more.

He looked up at his friend, tried to read his face, tried to understand. They both stared at each other, trying to find an answer in a pool of green and grey.

“I don’t want to be your friend,” Sirius finally said, the weight of his words so incredibly heavy that Remus thought he would pass out any second. There was another painful pause. “I don’t want to be your friend anymore, Moony. I want to be yours and I want to be by your side.  I want to kiss your stupid face until I lose my breath,” he inhaled sharply, tongue flicking over his lips, ”I want to wake up next to you in the morning. I want you to fuck me senseless. And I definitely want to be so much more than just your friend. I’m sick of pretending and hiding. I fucking care about you so much and I don’t care what will happen now because I will always love you. And nothing will ever change that. I can't keep going on pretending that we are only friends and will never be more than that.”

The air around them became heavier and heavier with every word that fell from Sirius’ sinful lips.

Remus tried to find the right words.  He had played this out in his head a thousand times, had imagined how it would be to finally admit his feelings, to finally tell Sirius. But now, all the words were gone, his thoughts filled with nothing but Sirius.

Remus reached out and pulled Sirius in close for a passionate kiss. Their teeth clashed against each other. Hands grabbed onto clothing, hair, anything to hold themselves steady. Their tongues met with the taste of cigarette smoke, alcohol and a distant hint of chocolate. Remus pressed himself tightly against Sirius, noting how their bodies fit together perfectly.  Sirius' hands felt hot against his skin, leaving Remus melting beneath, longing for more. The sound of their hearts and Sirius’ name inside of Remus’ head drowned out the loud noise from around them.

Their lips broke apart, both desperate for air. A wide smile spread across Sirius’ face. “I don’t want to be your friend either, Pad,” Remus whispered. “I want to be yours.”

Sirius growled. He liked the sound of that. A lot.

-/-

Hand in hand they stumbled out of the bar into the early morning. Remus couldn’t remember the last time he felt as light as he did right now. With Sirius by his side and the sun slowly bathing the city in soft light, Remus felt invincible.

The way to Remus’ flat took forever. Not only because they got lost twice.  But also because Sirius had the urge to tackle Remus from the side and press him against the nearest wall to kiss him into oblivion.

When they finally made it, Remus had to fumble with his keys for a good minute.  But it wasn't his fault that Sirius looked so kissable in the early morning sun, with his hair all messy and those stupid lips that just fit so perfectly against his own.

Remus found the right key, at last, the pair stumbling into the tiny hallway. Sirius soon found himself pinned against the door. “You said something about getting fucked, is that offer still up?” Remus asked, a self-assured grin spreading across his face.

Their lips met halfway, Remus pulling Sirius as close as he could, entangling his hands in black strands of hair.

A moan escaped Sirius’ mouth.

He took that as a yes.

Remus stepped forwards, guiding Sirius through the hallway and into the bedroom without breaking their lips apart.

Sirius’ calves bumped against the bed frame and he let himself fall down on the soft mattress. Remus stood above him, lips plump, wet and kiss-swollen. Their eyes met in a burning gaze.

“Get down here,” rasped Sirius and Remus was more than happy to follow that request. He crawled on top of Sirius.  He placed one hand on the mattress to steady himself while pushing the other underneath Sirius’ shirt, trailing his fingers up and down the inked skin.

Their noses brushed against each other tenderly as their lips met for another longing kiss.  Remus hiked up the shirt some more, exposing more and more of Sirius’s upper body before pulling the piece of fabric completely off and tossing it to the side.

Sirius beneath him shuddered in anticipation.

Remus took his sweet time to kiss across his partner’s face. Then kissed his way down the neck and chest until he reached the waistband of Sirius’ sinfully tight jeans.

“Do you have any idea how fucking hot you look?” Remus asked, his eyes admiring the beautiful man beneath him. The fair skin, black ink scattered everywhere, the slender and yet muscular frame. Sirius looked like a fucking masterpiece, a greek statue even. Remus might have to pin him against the wall one day.

Sirius smirked. “Sure do.”

Remus rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile. He started to unbutton Sirius’s pants, yanked them down impatiently and threw them on the floor. To his surprise, he was met with the most beautiful cock he had ever laid eyes upon. Of fucking course Sirius Black would go commando.

Remus exhaled sharply.

Sirius sat back up and pulled Remus into a kiss. “Less starring,” he muttered between kisses, ”more touching.” His hands made quick for own Remus’ own shirt. And soon they were both naked, panting and longing for more.

Sirius’ lips were attached to his partner’s neck, sucking and nibbling at his skin, leaving behind purple marks. Remus laid on his back, nails dragging up and down Sirius’ muscular back.

Sirius wrapped his right hand around their cocks and Remus quickly joined him with his own.

The heat of it all, the rubbing of skin on skin, the breathless moans escaping from their lips almost send Remus over the edge.  He tried to think of anything remotely unsexy in hopes of keeping himself from cumming but years of anticipation and fantasizing about this exact moment made it incredibly hard.

Sirius nuzzled Remus’ ear with his nose, tightening the grip around their joined cocks. “Feeling good, Moony?” He whispered huskily.

Remus could only moan in response.

“You want us to keep going?” Sirius asked lifting his head and locking eyes with Remus.

Remus felt dizzy, drunk on love and cheap beer. And there was Sirius, looking at him so tenderly, with so much love and desire and kindness. His heart fluttered. “Yes, please,” he said with a soft smile before meeting Sirius halfway for another kiss.

They took their sweet time exploring each other, making sure both of them were enjoying it as much as the other. Remus was eager to coax as many sinful moans out of Sirius as he possibly could. His voice was angelic, drug-like.

Soon enough he had Sirius on his hands and knees, face pressed into Remus’ pillow, arse propped up in the air. Remus swallowed hard, taking the sight in with a delighted groan. He could definitely get used to that.  His fingers trailed along the black lines across Sirius’ back that connected to a giant phoenix with widespread wings.

Sirius below him trembled as Remus’ fingers wandered lower, gliding over the curve of his arse. “Jesus, Moony. Hurry up, please.” Sirius wiggled impatiently.

Remus huffed, giving Sirius’ arse cheek a soft clap.  “Someone’s needy,” he teased, bending over Sirius to retreat the lube from his bedside table along with a condom.

He placed a few kisses along Sirius’ spine while he opened the lube and squeezed a fair amount in his fingers. He rubbed it between his fingers to warm it up a little before lightly tracing over Sirius’ twitching hole.

He started to gently massage and dip his fingertips inside until he was able to slide one finger in. Sirius groaned, pushing himself back against Remus’ hand.

Quickly a second and a third finger followed. Remus swallowed hard, licking his lips, unable to tear his eyes away from the beauty that was Sirius Black.

“Remus, stop fucking staring and fuck me already, please.” Remus chuckled. “Sure, love.”

He slowly pulled out his fingers, reached for the condom and after shortly wrestling with the wrapper, he rolled it onto his erected shaft.  With a deep breath, he positioned himself between Sirius’ legs, nudging his tip carefully against Sirius’ hole and slowly pushing in.

Sirius was tight and hot, and Remus felt like he would cum and blackout any second. His hands grabbed Sirius’s arse hard, head hanging low, panting.

Sirius had his head thrown back, his black hair a tangled mess, eyes closed, lips parted slightly.

“You look so stunning,” Remus whispered, forcing himself to keep his eyes open and taking in all of  Sirius’ beauty. Their eyes met in a thundering crash of grey and amber, stone and honey, steel and whiskey.

Remus pulled back and quickly flipped Sirius around. Their lips met for another fiery kiss and Remus slid back into his partner’s tight heat.

Remus nudged his nose against Sirius’ ear, his hands entangled in the other’s hair, pulling ever so slightly.

Sirius had his hands placed on Remus’ back, nails digging deep into the skin, moans dripping from his lips with every thrust. “Fuck,” Sirius whispered.  His teeth scratched over Remus’ freckled skin, nibbling and sucking it between his plump lips.

“You are so fucking tight, Pads. Fuck. I don’t know how long I can keep going. Holy shit,” Remus panted, sweat dripping down the sides of his face. He lifted his head, locking eyes with Sirius who grinned at him cockily.

“Fuck me senseless, Moons,” Sirius teased, eyes half-closed, lifting his chin up cheekily, face flushed red.

Remus growled. Sirius would be the death of him.

They changed positions again.

Sirius now laid on his side, hip propped up on a pillow.  Remus slid behind him, his cock pressing against his entrance once more and comfortably sliding inside. Remus wrapped his arms around the other man. His left hand wrapped around Sirius’ throbbing erection.

Sirius pressed himself against Remus’ chest, wanting to be as close to him as humanly possible while also seeking the friction of his hand. Sirius gathered his hair, bunching it up in his hands to give the other better access to his neck.

Remus happily hummed, teeth biting down at the nape of his neck, tongue flicking over reddened skin.  He could feel the heat bubble inside him, his heart hammered relentlessly against his ribs, breaths nothing more than hot puffs.

“You feel so good, you don’t even know. So good,  just for me, my love. Only mine.” Sirius shivered as Remus’ hot breath hit his skin, moaning in response. “Mine,” Remus growled, voice low and husky.

Sirius could only nod, cock twitching. “Yes, only yours, Moons,” he whimpered.

Something inside of Remus snapped.  His hips crashed against Sirius’ arse harder and harder, the slapping of skin on skin drowning out their moans. He adjusted the speed of his hand to the one of his hips, pumping, squeezing and twisting Sirius’ cock.

With a muffled groan, Remus came,  quickly followed by Sirius. He felt light-headed, dizzy, dancing on top of the clouds.

“I always knew you were a secret sex god. But holy shit,” Sirius said breathlessly as they both came back to their senses. “Give me a bloody warning next time, will you?”

“That’s a lot coming from someone who just ruined my bedsheets,” Remus snorted as he planted soft kisses over black ink.

Sirius only laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, it's me again!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it :)  
> And if you did, please feel free to leave kudos or a comment. It would really mean a lot to me!
> 
> Come and say hi on my [tumblr](https://im-captain-egg.tumblr.com/), and let me know if there are any prompts, kinks or ships you'd like me to tackle either on there or in the comments. I'll try my best to go through as many as I can.
> 
> Bye!


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